Who decides? You or your competing commitments?
A year ago, I wrote a case paper as part of a recurring assignment of my Master program class. The topic was career change, and I discussed various concepts we had studied in class. One of the concepts was competing commitments. As part of their research on the psychological reasons of employees’ resistance to change, Harvard professors Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey define “competing commitments” as psychological forces undermining an individual’s efforts to achieve an objective. These (unconscious) dynamics can wreak havoc if they remain unidentified and unaddressed.
Kegan and Laskow Lahey developed an exercise to bring the competing commitment to the surface and overcome its power. We tried out the exercise in class (in pairs of two). Doing the exercise makes coachees aware of their competing commitments, and it helps them define experiments to overcome them.
One is not powerless in the face of competing commitments — doing the exercise (once or repeatedly) helps remedying them. The exercise is a powerful coaching tool.
As part of the exercise, a person goes through a series of steps to identify barriers to personal change:
1. State your improvement goal — the desired change
2. Identify behaviors that prevent you from achieving this goal.
3. The “real work” starts — digging deep to bring to the surface which hidden commitments could be at work (think of them as an oath of allegiance)
4. Dig deeper: which big assumptions or world views could back up these competing commitments?
5. Identify experiments which can slowly but surely mitigate the impact of these worldviews (and consequently, the competing commitments).
In my case, the results were:
While my improvement goal was to find a job more in line with my creative side (interest in fashion, in sustainability, in writing, in entrepreneurship), my hidden commitment was to continue serving consulting firms and banks. Related to this was (and continues to be) the belief that I require the “stability and prestige” which these organizations afford me.
Why, you might ask? I know — after all, both the financial services and the consulting industry have not been known for stability in the past decade.
Beliefs are not rational, they are impacted by socialization, one’s own assumptions / world views, professional identity… there are many factors.
In my case some of my beliefs are connected to my heritage. I am German-French. The French side is on the everlasting quest for prestige — one has to look good to the outside world, attend the “right” schools, be a success — surely, employment with a well-known bank could fulfill this requirement. The other side of the family certainly has transferred a portion of German Angst to me — requiring me to be financially responsible, strive for stability and, best case scenario, serve the “Deutschland AG” (“Germany, Inc.”).
The beliefs are subjective, often not rational — and they are unique to each person (in a quest for change).
Back to the exercise: As part of it, my classmate and I determined experiments — activities that could help me overcome my competing commitment — and as a result, lessen its power. The experiments are listed in the above table. In December last year, I took matters in my own hands and participated in a one-week class in building a fashion business (at Central Saint Martins, London). Good for me!
Action is always better than remaining passive.
This helped me gain a better understanding of the requirements of setting up a fashion business; in particular, finding one’s niche and being persistent in the face of much competition. It was a reality check. A side-effect: I made new friends who share my interest in fashion (building up a network in my desired future line of work).
Another experiment could be to “intern” with a fashion label; even if only for one or two weeks to gain insights into an industry I personally am not very familiar with.
And yet, here I was, more than a year after I had written the case paper on the concept of competing commitments. I was on my way to yet another consulting project — the money was excellent, the prestige as well. But where did that leave ME? My 2016 insights on competing commitments continued to ring true.
I could not shake the impression that my hidden commitments had developed a life (and personality) of their own. The lesson clearly was: Always work on them if you seek lasting change.
They seemed to urge me to give them my full attention. These damn commitments were in the driver’s seat of my (professional) life! (Also impacting my private life). I felt a bit desperate when I realized this. In my view, I had made so much progress — and was still not able to move on. But not all hope is lost — remember experiment No 2? To work 80% and devote more time to the idea of creating a sustainable fashion business? I will do this as of January 2018. So — change is coming soon.
For everyone who feels a bit stuck in a professional and personal transition, applying the competing commitment exercise can work wonders. The key is to apply it consistently, to take a step back, look at your situation and remain mindful of the progress you have already made.
Change is coming soon. Slowly, but surely.
